we have all been there , jealously can turn a good person into a very ugly person and I think being a female we have all come across this at one point in our lifes , whether it be in High school , Family , Friends , or at work . The fact is Girls can be vicious and jealously can drive them to it or boredom. Take it from my experience at high school where I had a group of girls who thought it was fun to gang up on me now and again , Why? , I dont know but sometimes girls dont have to have a reason. I am doing this post because I wish there was some one around at that horrible time in my life to tell me to get some balls and stand up to petty girls like this. So whether you are being bullied , feeling left out , or just feeling hurt by women , here is a few tips and my story to hopefully help you through this and overcome bullying.
Analyse the Situation
Calling you Names? embarrassing you ? physcial harming you ? are you questioning your safety? then you are a victim. Some times you just need to sit back and take things in ( and I don’t mean sit back and deal with it), its weird to say but sometimes people dont even know when they are being bullied!. For me , it was just a few snide comments but sometimes they would throw them at other people in the class so I just thought it was part of their personality and just teasing some of the lads in the class.I think the first time I realised it was when they interfering with my relationship ( we were “seeing” each other) They would say really hurtful things to him “She doesn’t deserve you” ” did you know she’s cheated on you”. I didn’t get it and thats when it clicked because funny enough those group of girls were my friends and they all turned on me because thats was there little game. Thats what It was like through out year 8 – it was a bit like duck duck goose – every month they would pick someone out of the group to turn on and see how far they could go to push them.
Dont just deal with it Kid.
What I have learned from my experience is to not keep quiet , they feed of quietness and cowardliness. I was quiet for 2 weeks and I was given them all the entertainment they needed , they isolated me , they made fun of me , they embarresed me , and they even ruined my art picture!- it was a pretty peacock and they completely splashed paint all over it . I remember the Art teacher questioning me about it and I just kept quiet because I was scared incase they found and strangely enough I still wanted to be their friend. I still wanted to put up with all the abuse just to have some one to sit next to , so I didn’t look like a “loser”- I wish I could go back in time and just shake myself silly!. How much is enough? am I going to keep on going until they follow me home? harm my family? harm me physcially? How much is enough?-Lets not wait until it can get a little bit unbearable , lets act straight away and speak up!.So thats what I did next…
Have your say.
So I told them what I thought of them , I finally said “what the hell is your problem”. In which sometimes a bully doesnt like it when the victim speaks up however I wasnt dealing with one bully , I was dealing with 4 bullies. If you stay quiet , you are an easy target and me saying this , threw them of balance. However I said one sentance and they all gave back with bloody paragraphs at me and I just lost my confidence again. I didnt stand my ground and my body language was weak. I could of said a lot more , I wanted to say a lot more but I didn’t , I got scared and shyed away .Unfortunately I felt there was never going to be light at the end of the tunnel and blamed myself for being bullied resulting in self harming – which is something I never feel comfortable talking about and don’t want to disclose that dark time on quite a chirpy positive blog I have going here !.
A lot of victims get to this point and feel like this is the worse thing they should do , but its actually the best thing. Thoughts swarm through your head , no one will help me , I will be bullied more , I cant rat out my so called “friends”. I had all this running through my head but it wasnt until one of the popular girls saw me crying that she demanded to know what was wrong. What happened next was extraordinary and consider myself very lucky , I honestly felt like someone looking down on me that day and answered my prayers , Enough is Enough. I was brought to the dining table full of the popular kids ( I was always very scared to talk to them , they had a tight group and the lads loved them) , the ring leader told me to tell everyone what happened. I didnt know these people well however they saw I was upset and to my amazement they all stood up for me. Next thing that happened was that I was lead out in the playground with a massive group of girls surrounding me like I was in a wolf pack and I was their precious cub walking towards the Bullies. I didn’t know what to expect next , I didn’t know if I had to talk or just sit back and watch the show…Oh god am I being lead into a physical fight?! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT BALLS.
The final Straw , TAKE THEM DOWN
When we approached the bullies , I have never seen them so frightened in all my life, their faces went bright red and they looked like a bunch of confused seagulls. The ring leader comfronted them and asked why had they been bullying me. None of them knew what to say , they started looking at each other and trying to read each others minds to come to a decision of there so called “reason” for bullying me was. I thought to myself why am I sitting back and letting someone else deal with my battles? and thats when I stepped forward and had my say. I was suddenly bursting with confidence , anger , and all my emotions of how I had been feeling for the past 2 weeks came flooding back but I didnt let them know I was upset. I stepped forward and Ill never forget what I said that day but this is what I said… ” I have put up with your shit for 2 weeks now , I have been nothing but a good friend to all of you and you have all treated me like rubbish. I dont ever want to be friends with any of you , you have made me feel so small but looking at you all now I no longer feel small. I am a better person then all of you put together and the Whole school will now know that you are sad pathethic bullies , who wants to be friends with losers like you lot?! I rather eat crap then associate with you losers”. I walked away and I heard a massive cheer not only by girls but by Boys and dinner ladies! that was the first time in a long while I turned round and smiled at my attackers- want to know what their reaction was ?!…
Yep They were trying so hard to fight back the tears and you know because Im such a good person – I felt a little bit bad however I will never forget that moment I didnt walk away on my own like I have been for the past 2 weeks , I walked away with the whole of the year behind me .
Its always the best thing to stand up to a bully, dont ever suffer in silence just because your scared of the consequences , show that you have a voice and fight your ground , Remember that respect is worth fighting for. Bullying can be a parents nightmare , with all the abuse I was receiving and then directing it at my parents, it was hard for them because they knew something wasn’t right and they would beg me to tell them. Don’t let your parents and those loved ones around you suffer to, please speak up..Hopefully my story has helped victims out there , bullying is a disgusting act and its crazy to think in this day and age it stills goes on. Think of it this way , you are not a bully therefore you have much more purpose then your attacker so how can you be the loser?!.